Whenever Marian Rafferty’s American-born children asked about her Irish childhood, Marian made her past sound as bland as a piece of Wonder bread. Marian never mentioned that she’d smuggled explosives across the border or that her eldest son’s father wasn’t her husband of more than forty years or that she’d murdered her best friend.

Or that her name wasn’t even Marian.

Anyone looking for a fictionalized version of  Patrick Radden Keefe's Say Nothing should definitely read You Know, Yourself. If you enjoyed Louise Kennedy's exploration of the mother-daughter relationship within the shadow of Northern Ireland's Troubles in Trespasses, then You Know, Yourself is the book for you. 

AVAILABLE ON KINDLE UNLIMITED, PRINT & AUDIOBOOK. The audiobook is narrated by an Irish-born woman who is absolutely fantastic.

AMAZON: https://a.co/d/01u1fobe

• Irish-American family stories
• Multi-generational women’s fiction
• Novels about hidden identities and buried secrets
• Literary suspense with emotional depth
• Stories centered on mothers and daughters
• Character-driven fiction exploring guilt, memory, and survival.

"5.0 out of 5 stars Tis a Beautiful Story

Call an emergency meeting of your Book Club - this book is a must read."

My grandfather is from a Northern Ireland  border country and while doing some research on our family background I became interested in that part of the country. Also as an Irish-American child of he 70s, the Troubles was always in the background of our lives, but honestly not something I paid much attention to. I was interested in telling the story both from the Northern Irish perspective and the New York perspective. 

No. The novel is fictional, though it draws on historical and cultural elements connected to Ireland, immigration, and family life and, as I said above, my experience growing up in the New York Irish diaspora of the 1970s and 1980s.

You Know, Yourself blends women’s fiction, family drama, literary suspense, and psychological fiction. At its heart, it is a story about identity, guilt, motherhood, and survival.

The title reflects both Irish conversational rhythm  and  a common saying (You know, yourself) and one of the novel’s central questions:
How well do we truly know ourselves — or the people closest to us?

Yes. The novel touches on political unrest in Ireland and the emotional impact those experiences have on ordinary families and later generations.

There are haunting and psychological elements woven through the story, particularly surrounding memory, guilt, and Marian’s past. These elements are intended to deepen the emotional atmosphere rather than shift the novel fully into horror or fantasy. The red car (the Rover) that plays a big part of the otherworldly sections is based on my father's old car. Since he recently passed, including the car that he loved so well was my way of honoring him. Although he was American, he loved Ireland and Irish history very much. 

Readers who enjoy emotionally layered fiction about:

• family secrets
• mothers and daughters
• Irish-American identity
• psychological tension
• morally complicated characters
• multigenerational storytelling

Absolutely. The novel raises questions about truth, forgiveness, identity, loyalty, and survival that often lead to strong discussion and differing interpretations.

1. Marian spends decades hiding the truth about her past. Were her secrets acts of protection, survival, selfishness, or all three?
2. How does the novel explore the idea of identity? In what ways do the characters reinvent themselves?
3. Marian believes she can separate her past from her present life in America. Do you think that is ever truly possible?
4. Discuss the mother-daughter relationships in the novel. How do silence and secrecy affect those relationships?
5. What role does guilt play throughout the story?
6. How does the Irish setting influence the emotional atmosphere of the novel?
7. The novel asks whether people can ever fully escape the consequences of their actions. What do you think the book ultimately says about redemption?
8. How did the haunting elements affect your reading of the story? Did you interpret them literally, psychologically, or symbolically?
9. Were you sympathetic to Marian? Did your feelings toward her change throughout the novel?
10. Discuss the idea of memory in the novel. Are memories reliable? Can people reshape the past in order to live with themselves?
11. How do the children in the novel respond differently to Marian’s revelations?
12. What does the novel suggest about the stories families choose to tell — and the ones they refuse to discuss?
13. Did the ending provide closure for you? Why or why not?
14. Which relationship in the novel felt the most emotionally authentic to you?
15. If Marian had revealed the truth earlier in her life, do you think the outcome would have been different?